I really liked this and could totally relate to much of what you said particularly about the difficulties of taking compliments, and being a people pleaser. Good to consider why I’m like that. Also, the whole thing about boosting others chimed with a recent discussion about feedback when we write creatively. Thanks.
I also feel like by using language around the 'who' someone is, you can kind of get super-granular, and specific, in a way that simply expressing I love you (however true) somehow can't?
New to this arena, and this was a great early-post to stumble across!
Hey Jim. Ahh thank you so much - so glad you stumbled on it too! Great to have you here. Yeah - getting to the ‘who’ is really important for the connection isn’t it 💫
Thank you! I really feel the sadness of not being told this too as a kid. It hits home doesn’t it. And I think if we’re lucky, like you say, we learn to say it to ourselves. Thank you for reading Shahryar and taking the time to comment 💫
Well stated! Today, the power and impact of social media on everyone is pervasive ... and mostly fake. Everyone, especially children, needs to be able to differentiate the 'staged' from reality. If we stopped comparing the two and lived in the day, everyone would be much happier. Do I really care that someone posted their new million-dollar car or house? Nope. I'm happy in my middle-class home and my eight year old truck. Find happiness in yourself and enjoy others as they are.
That little detail of adding "who you are" goes beyond the unconditional and adds a further layer of belief in that person's actions.
Also, I love that you see every angle of every issue. It's a superpower (and journalistic benefit!), even if you find it annoying. Seeing as many sides as possible seems chewy and challenging, but also necessary, which may explain why one of my favourite words is 'contradiction'.
This reminded me of the passage in War and Peace where Natasha is getting better and better at her singing because Denisov (who was infatuated with her, but she not with him) 'so delighted in her singing'.
People are searching for so many things that it is easy to get overwhelmed. But when someone, with a compliment, zeroes in on something, it brings a clarity that can even alter the course of one's life.
How many young people decided on a career path simply because a teacher said they seemed great at that something.
This clarity also gives one the vocabulary to express this very thing. You tell a young person: I like how comfortable you are with silence; you don't seem to feel the need to fill every space with words.
Then one day you hear them state confidently to someone, almost verbatim: 'By the way, I'm comfortable with silence. I don't feel the need to fill every pause with words." :-)
I really liked this and could totally relate to much of what you said particularly about the difficulties of taking compliments, and being a people pleaser. Good to consider why I’m like that. Also, the whole thing about boosting others chimed with a recent discussion about feedback when we write creatively. Thanks.
Sue I appreciate you so so much. It means the world to me that you like what I say here. X
Penny!
Loved this insight.
I also feel like by using language around the 'who' someone is, you can kind of get super-granular, and specific, in a way that simply expressing I love you (however true) somehow can't?
New to this arena, and this was a great early-post to stumble across!
Hey Jim. Ahh thank you so much - so glad you stumbled on it too! Great to have you here. Yeah - getting to the ‘who’ is really important for the connection isn’t it 💫
This is so important for kids especially.
I feel like I wasn't told this enough when I was a kid, quite the opposite sometimes tbh...
Over time I realized though, that if there wasn't anyone to tell me this.
I can start believing that "I love who I am" and start saying it to myself.
And I did! Thanks for sharing Penny!
Thank you! I really feel the sadness of not being told this too as a kid. It hits home doesn’t it. And I think if we’re lucky, like you say, we learn to say it to ourselves. Thank you for reading Shahryar and taking the time to comment 💫
Well stated! Today, the power and impact of social media on everyone is pervasive ... and mostly fake. Everyone, especially children, needs to be able to differentiate the 'staged' from reality. If we stopped comparing the two and lived in the day, everyone would be much happier. Do I really care that someone posted their new million-dollar car or house? Nope. I'm happy in my middle-class home and my eight year old truck. Find happiness in yourself and enjoy others as they are.
Well said! Find happiness in yourself, for sure 👌🏼
Kudos to you for getting from draft to published!
That little detail of adding "who you are" goes beyond the unconditional and adds a further layer of belief in that person's actions.
Also, I love that you see every angle of every issue. It's a superpower (and journalistic benefit!), even if you find it annoying. Seeing as many sides as possible seems chewy and challenging, but also necessary, which may explain why one of my favourite words is 'contradiction'.
Thanks Martin. The seeing all sides thing is mostly good - but it can be rather paralyzing! I appreciate you seeing it as a strength.
Yes - you're right, 'contradiction' - what a word!
Good led in, good observation, on how to build a worthwhile relationship.....
Thank you 💫
This reminded me of the passage in War and Peace where Natasha is getting better and better at her singing because Denisov (who was infatuated with her, but she not with him) 'so delighted in her singing'.
People are searching for so many things that it is easy to get overwhelmed. But when someone, with a compliment, zeroes in on something, it brings a clarity that can even alter the course of one's life.
How many young people decided on a career path simply because a teacher said they seemed great at that something.
This clarity also gives one the vocabulary to express this very thing. You tell a young person: I like how comfortable you are with silence; you don't seem to feel the need to fill every space with words.
Then one day you hear them state confidently to someone, almost verbatim: 'By the way, I'm comfortable with silence. I don't feel the need to fill every pause with words." :-)